Period of Frustration

I am Frustrated.

Why? Well, because I have my car but my dad won't let me drive anywhere except school alone - which is why I want to drive in the first place. And because I want to see Will more often but I can't. And because it's summer and I haven't had real, real, REAL summer fun yet. I'm worrying about my SATs right now. Grr...

So yeah. Lets start off with the situation with driving so I can siphon off my feelings and thoughts. Or at least a portion of it. (I've realised that I never really record ALL of my thoughts and feelings in here due to time limits and the fact that I think faster than I type.) So, as we all know, I have my car and I have my license. My dad told me he was happy with my driving and approved. The problem? He just told Hannah that he only wants me to drive for school-related purposes and he'd rather me drive for other purposes AFTER 6 months. AND he was expressing concerns about me driving in a freakin' PARKING LOT just because he says that "I don't know the parking lot well enough"!!! I find that absolutely ridiculous. The speed limit in a parking lot is 15 mph! I mean he supported my driving (even during the getting-off-from-work traffic 16 miles round trip to and from school) and NOW he's expressing far-out concerns? He said he wanted to wait 6 months until I'm "experienced". Right. My last Test Masters class is this Thursday. Can't I drive alone after that? If I can't drive, then how am I to get experience? I certainly don't get experience by driving with a parent! I just find this plain stupid. It's COMMON SENSE folks. *sigh* The problem is that they only think what they want to think no matter what you say. That's what's so frustrating!

I mean I'm to meet Hannah tomorrow at West Oaks Mall which is a mere 15 minutes or so from my house! I can DRIVE there. I'm supposed to be going to Test Masters from 2 to 5 tomorrow and that's during the traffic hours and he lets me! I could drive to the mall and then drive myself straight to Test Masters afterwards! It's quite simple. I'm not stupid. I know how to get places. I may not like Texas and I may not like to remember street names (though these days I find myself saying them more and more) but I know my way around. I learn by doing it, not by doing it with help "at my fingertips" (which are in fact the parent sitting next to me!). I barely even learn anything from school and I go 8 months a year! This lack of trust in me is seriously not good on my part and on theirs. I mean I know they're worried about me getting into an accident and such, but if an accident's to happen, I won't have anything over it and I can't change the hands of time (sorry, been reading "Cirque du Freak" more and more and remember Mr. Tiny.. hehe...). Unless I was under the influence of drugs and alcohol - and I assure you, I'm not and I never will be. I've been to enough hospitals and seen enough people whos lives were ruined by it. I'll do my best. Parents that worry too much harm more.

I mean you know those kids whose parents push them so much? They barely even have lives and when they're in the "real world", what do they know besides what x + y equals? Grr... having Asian parents have their good sides, but there's an equal amount of "bad" to it as well. I'm just dying to graduate so I won't be under their control (as much) anymore. I was SO HAPPY when I got to drive alone! I cranked up the music... I bobbed my head... I even sang along and for once, I felt truly free. :) It was a great feeling, however, short-lived. :) I didn't do well on my last practice SAT. hehe... I was too excited and was staring at the watch to watch the time to when I can drive myself back home again. lol...

:) Oh yes. Due to the failed negotiations between Hannah and my dad, she's going to come pick me up tomorrow and drop me off. :) At least we'll be getting tapioca! Oh! And Will's coming as well. Hm.. the problem now is that my difficult mom is the only one home tomorrow and the question is should Will come in or not and should my mom know about him. I'm thinking about seeing what mood she's in tomorrow morning and decide from there. It's only fair if he steps into the foyer of my house though. :) I've been to his house twice. Hm.. just as long as he doesn't go into my room: it's a mess! I promised my mom I'd clean it after the SAT.

Well, I'm going to go now and go to sleep!

*jumps up and down excitedly* I'M GOING TO SEE WILL AND HANNAH TOMORROW!!! :D