Funny Doctor Jokes

"The doctor said he would have me on my feet in two weeks."
"And did he?"
"Yes, I had to sell the car to pay the bill."

A fellow walked into a doctor's office and the receptionist asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she took down his name, address, medical insurance number and told him to have a seat.
A few minutes later a nurse's aid came out and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she took down his height, weight, a complete medical history and told him to wait in the examining room.
Ten minutes later a nurse came in and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."So she gave him a blood test, a blood pressure test, an electrocardiogram, told him to take off all his clothes and wait for the doctor.
Fifteen minutes later the doctor came in and asked him what he had.He said, "Shingles."The doctor said, "Where?"He said, "Outside in the truck. Where do you want them?"

A veterinarian was feeling ill and went to see her doctor. The doctor asked her all the usual questions, about symptoms, how long had they been occurring, etc., when she interrupted him: "Hey look, I'm a vet -- I don't need to ask my patients these kind of questions: I can tell what's wrong just by looking. Why can't you?"
The doctor nodded, looked her up and down, wrote out a prescription, and handed it to her and said, "There you are. Of course, if that doesn't work, we'll have to have you put down."

A urologist's license plate: 2 P C ME

"Are you an organ donor?"
"No, but I once gave an old piano to the Salvation Army."

Doctor: I have some bad news and some very bad news.
Patient: Well, might as well give me the bad news first.
Doctor: The lab called with your test results. They said you have 24 hours to live.
Patient: 24 HOURS! Thats terrible!! WHAT could be WORSE? What's the very bad news?Doctor: I've been trying to reach you since yesterday.