Taken vs. Single

I have had a total of two boyfriends in my past. There were the similarities and the differences, the ups and the downs, the comparisons between a life of relative solitude and one shared with a special someone, taken versus single.

Currently, I am neither 'taken' nor am I 'single'. I'm in between, in a space that has me much confused and wondering about it all. Let me start from the beginning and give a short run through, though. I met a dude named Avery on the Internet a couple of days ago, and we met on Friday and we karaoke-ed on Saturday night (today). It was great. I liked him, he liked me - he lived 79 miles away and attended UTSA.

At first glance, it may not seem to be a big deal. Most of the people that know about us say that distance relationships aren't impossible as long as you're committed to it and that is true. Even so, it's better to be around your boyfriend, yeah? Also, it would be relatively simple to meet each other except the fact that the only person with the car is Avery and I am not going to make him leave San Antonio once every week or even once in several weeks. It doesn't seem fair to me as I'm just here waiting while he's doing the driving. In addition, we're still trying to get to know each other as I've only known him for barely even half a week or so and vice versa. Another big obstacle was that he's out of state over the winter break so I wouldn't be seeing him until January.

This lead to us being not exactly an official couple, but sort of one since we wouldn't see each other much and we still needed to get to know the other better. Also, it is best if you were not too emotionally attached as it was iffy if the thing will work out, anyway.

Now, in addition to those things, whenever I like someone or are in a relationship of a sort, my... girly side comes out. I mean, I still like the old things, I just get a little more emotional, analytical, and such. It's a pain in the arse, to tell the truth. Where I would normally be all "all right, a month? Sure! Just as long as we get together when he comes back" but now, I have that AND I dwell on the fact that there's this one month or so time lapse. Hm... I suppose my girl side is a bit insecure. A lot of things can happen in a month. But the other side is all for waiting to see what happens as whatever happens'll happen and there's nothing you can do about it.

All I know though, is that my girl side has taken over half of my mind.

I have become a bit emotionally attached.

Being a girl really stinks, at times, but for some odd reason, I can't stop it. I just hope this works out for better or worse.

I hope for the better, though.

UPDATE: I am now single and Avery and I are just friends getting to know each other better - with the possibility of possibly going out if we think it'll work out later. I like this alternative better. :) Of course, I still like him. haha...